Quickly, Johanna! Grab the tweezers!
D: The cat has never been outside.
S: She’s been outside once.
D: When you bought her?
S: No, I walked her once when I was little.
S: Shut up! I wanted a dog, okay!?
(what kind of person do you want to be?)
redo bass piano on song 2
Once the skin is gone from an apple, what’s the point?
Help me bathe with this musky muskrat!
Turkey bites clamshell!
Manslaughter names not allowed
Works for six
But not for wheels
Sheba says no no
But Skycaps says yes yes
Look at yourself
Loot at yourself in the mirror
Like; like; like;
Like a pinball machine
Or a really preachy prostitute
National flower day! National flower day!
Look: I’m going to be honest with you
The pot is full
The hose is out of buffalo barley cakes
I’ve got nowhere else to go
But I have no choice but to inform you of the following:
I’ve never seen such a lousy pair of antlers
You’ve pissed all over my perfect day
The cup is half full, I’d say!
But instead I have to bathe my school children
Of this god-awful stench of urine
Step One: Separate by race
Step Two: Separate by gender
Frazzled and bedazzled
One by one
Gumdrop gummy bears eat the school children
Bliss is the nipple of the underworld
The yellow moon that spits on the cow
We’re causing a sea change!
We’re applying the literatures!
And suiting up our children in full-body condoms
It’s a fucking crapshoot!
Like throwing daisies in a puddle
Or slamming your face against a smokey jar of jelly beans
Or the lazy-eyed fellow in the court yard
His beaver friends spewed about the upholstery
Well I’ll tell you, I’ve had quite enough!
When the church bell finally decided to ring again
I heard your call
You’re killing me, Albert
(Title idea courtesy of Many Chickens)
The morning zoo
Is closed this afternoon
The abominable kidney bean
You’ve stepped on my wombat
Grab the putty knife and give me a wink
You’re the see-thru one
All curdled and brown or something
The one with the mattress on the ceiling
And the ceiling fan on the floor
trying to escape the sound but the headphones are strapped to your head