I canceled the Claye shows because I’d rather create a better album than recreate one I already made in front of drunk people at a bar.
Me: Why is a little girl screaming outside?
Samara: Cause she’s being a little bitch.
One could describe my life as an endless debate on which looks more disgusting: the human penis or the human vagina.
It might be a tossup.
My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a ghost.
Sorry Spider, you could stay, but you’d have to pay some rent and help me out with the dishes.